First Look Through the Window: Roxanne Collins

This is a cut&paste of a review posted on

First Look Through the Window      Roxanne Collins

Not just another self-help book. This is the real deal.

five stars

Star counts are hard, especially in rating a work outside this reader’s normal scope.  More on the stars, counting, and my rating decision later.

The book includes many short but relevant quotes. Clearly Collins is extremely well read and well-informed. There are several book references, for those needing more on any particular topic. Direct quotes from Collins herself are given within quotation marks below.

“The manner in which we are all raised and the messages sent by the society we live in affects the manner in which we develop and perceive the world. When we come into this world, we come as a whole; but this completeness doesn’t last long, because we depend on our parents, on relationships; we are social beings.”

One key lesson here reminds me of a Go proverb: don’t be going back to touch up your plays. As a friend (David Dinsmore) once said it, once you’ve made a decision, it is a good decision. Collins tells her reader to live with what cannot be changed, and not to fuss overmuch about decisions already made.

I remember advice from somewhere, when in a mental rut of frustration, anger, or feeling inadequate: ask oneself these questions: 1) what am I feeling 2) what am I reacting to 3) what am I doing to make/keep myself reacting this way. Collins’ book covers this in many ways, and much better. I am embarrassed that I got a great deal of personal benefit from her work while reading it for free.

“They became prisoners of their own defence mechanisms.” Been there, done that.

“Understanding the essence of a person is truly a conquest, a conquest that demands time and makes you slow down. This way, we can feel understood, connected, we will want to discover more, after building a safe environment, and to solve an endless mystery. We permanently change; we learn and develop together.”

Read the book in order. But when you get to Chapter V, slow down just a bit. If you want my own view of the meaning of life, read The Scroll of the Violin: life has no meaning; we evolved to enjoy it.

“The greatest gift of your existence is the fact that you have a pulse. If you were to remain without air and you could renounce all of your possessions in order to live, you would do it without blinking. And you could start all over again, being grateful that a new chance was offered to you, to be able to live.”

Collins does not quote an older concept, Transactional Analysis, but she certainly is aware of its major insights. Inner voices can represent the ‘parent’ part of the persona, which is always ‘should-ing’ on us.

The above should give you a decent ‘feel’ for this book. Now for my star count boilerplate. My personal guidelines, when doing an ‘official’ KBR review, are as follows: five stars means, roughly equal to best in genre. Rarely given. Four stars means, extremely good. Three stars means, definitely recommendable. I am a tough reviewer. I try hard to be consistent. I have read some of the references given by Collins. I have been sent to ‘charm school’ when I worked for IBM Canada and CIBC. I have other, older works in my personal library. This book is at least equal to the best of them. Thus five stars is an easy decision. If you wonder about yourself and your life, this is part of your answer. Extremely recommended.

Kindle Book Review Team member.

(Note: this reviewer received a free copy of this book for an independent review. He is not associated with the author or Amazon.)

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